Once again the new year is upon us, and we here at Steppinrazor3 are preparing to celebrate in the usual fashion, with a bowel disruptor and a bottle of Jameson's. I could probably spend a few pages whining about all the things that I'd personally like to accomplish in 2002, but that would be a) pointless and b) boring. Even for me.

I could also bitch about what's wrong with last year, but frankly that's what the rant archive is there for. I'm glad to be relatively out of the information loop, though - at least I don't have to see any retrospective "Images of 2001" crap. Because we all know exactly what that image is.

So instead, I bring you the official list of Stupid Things That Should Not Exist In The Year 2002.

Globalization.

I personally, reactionary isolationist conservative that I can be, am not for it. I do not believe that it is the mission of my or any other generation to turn the world into one giant suburb of America or of anywhere else. I do not think that having a McDonald's in all cities, a Dunkin Donuts in Barcelona, a Gap in Paris, or anything like that is a stride in the direction of progress. After all, it just turns the world into the multi-nats' playground. If they can sell exactly the same product in Hong Kong, Peoria, Chipping Norton, Essen, Cape Town and New Delhi, they're better off, and we're stuck with second-rate shit, not to mention second-rate labor laws, product laws, and general quality of life. We are all individuals, whether or not our cultures celebrate such, so why should we assume that having the same product as someone else is a step in the right direction? That's why I'm opposed to globalization - it seems to be the end of individuality, and I don't see it ending conflict any time soon.

Second-Rate Education.

I don't care what level of education you are at - the whole point of it is to make you a better person. There should be a high enough quality of education in public schools that people don't feel that their child must be educated at a private school. I realize that this means we'll have to start attracting people into teaching who want to be there because it is a well-paid, rewarding career, rather than people who want to be there because they can't do anything else and like the idea of being prison wardens/societal scapegoats/nannies/anything but educators, but that's the price we pay for quality. I also do not think that the way to fund such is by allowing corporations a presence in schools, whether that's Channel One, McDonald's, or anyone else. The goal of education is - or should be - to create people who are capable of understanding the world around them, not people who think that Kellogg's makes some darn good cereal just because they say they do. And at higher levels of education, we should recognize that people are making an effort to improve their lot in life. All education should be regarded as a job on the part of the student and paid for appropriately - in the case of elementary and secondary school, money should be devoted to improving the system; in the case of college and post-graduate education, education should be subsidized - rather than making 20K or whatever you would have made that year, the government pays for your education. I realize that loans are a much more practical way for the government to go about such, but they're not very practical for the students. At the time when they are making the least money, they need the most, because of the exorbitant prices that a lot of institutions are able to charge. I realize that to fund this, we may have to take money from somewhere else, possibly the arms budget, which, even in the face of non-globalization certainly looks overfunded, but that's the price of progress.

The American Political System.

First of all, there should be truth in the system. The Democrats supposedly stand for one thing, the Republicans for another. This is a lie. Both stand for keeping their jobs, and to keep their jobs, they need to say certain things to some people and other things to other people. Both parties have a lovely habit of ignoring inconvenient promises that they've made, a fact that they should not be allowed to continue to get away with. Secondly, the country that is so proud of its democracy should have an actual functional democracy. There should not be any of this Electoral College shit, and parties should be funded differently. I've got no idea how they should be funded - I don't think that, say, the Libertarian party is capable of actually electing a president, but I also don't think that it's good policy to require a party to get 5 percent of the vote before the government will fund them too. Basically, I think that the parties should be funded more equally - have a true democracy, rather than the two-party system that currently exists.

God.

God is not out there, okay? The only people that we could ask are, by definition, no longer askable. I'll believe in God the day he/she/it shows up on my doorstep and proves his/her/its divinity to my satisfaction. In the meantime, God is apparently running around putting his/her/its Seal Of Approval on one hell of a lot of violence and misery. God is merely a superstition created by people who couldn't imagine a world with no apparent point, and a convenient excuse for me to misbehave. It's time to grow up and leave the sandbox - there's a great big world out there that we haven't really paid much attention to simply because we've been caught up in looking for the Cosmic Policeperson.

Illegal Drugs.

As far as I'm concerned, if you want to do drugs, you might as well shoot yourself now. Which is odd, because I have nothing against drugs per se - what I have a problem with is people who only want to do drugs. People who aren't happy being themselves and therefore crave a chemical alleviation for the fact that they apparently basically don't like themselves. Let's try waking up and actually examining the problem and then working on solving it. But since this doesn't seem to attract a whole lot of followers, I'd settle for legalizing drugs, regulating the conditions of use, then taxing the fuck out of them. I think that'll have a more salubrious effect on the drug problem in America than the War On Drugs, which I haven't heard much about lately. After all, it'll put a lot of street dealers out of business and prevent - hopefully - a lot of people who aren't doing drugs from being injured by those who are or would like to.

Pop Music.

Basically this is soulless crap. Those who can, do. Those who can't, perform pop music. Buncha no-talent hacks put together into groups to milk the cash cow. Do you like being a person who will do anything you're told to, as long as it makes you look 'hip' and 'with it'?

Consumerism.

Another entry in the soulless crap column. "I'm unhappy, therefore I will go out and buy something to make me feel better because all the ads I've seen tell me that I will feel happier." Let's just tie strings to you, put a radio receiver in your throat, and call you Charlie McCarthy. Take a walk, call a friend, read a book. Make yourself happy rather than relying on something else to make you happy - it never works. Get a webpage instead, or something.

I could go on for many more pages, but frankly, I'm tired and irritable, and bitching is not helping. Let's just start here, shall we?

In search of the Truth, or at least Ed Norton,

Channon